1. Who thought up “boogie man ” as synonymous for something scary?

2. I know you don’t think I’m a “gamer” but my win/loss ratio on spider solitaire says otherwise.

3. Watched The Dark Knight again last night. So unrealistic. Bank vaults don’t look like that.

4. If I had made fun of of the Occupy Denver protestors by saying they will most likely elect a dog as their leader, someone would have thought me unkind. And then they go and do it.

5. How come there are not more shows about Ninjas? With throwing stars?

6. Dear Joe Paterno, Thank you for making it easier for a pedophile to molest young boys but also fanning the flames of cynicism in a burned-over culture.

7. Tired of waiting on new Batman movie. And shows with ninjas.

8. Hermain Cain is proof positive liberals do not really care about diversity. They only wield it as a weapon against those they would have power over.

9. Every time I read/hear “Herman Cain” I get really hungry for pizza.

10. I apologize for no references to bacon or Star Wars in this edition of TRT.

1. After downloading Flipboard for iPad I may never communicate with my family again.

2. My only demand for #OWS is moving Monday Night Football to any other station besides ESPN.

3. All I want for Christmas is for my kids to like Springsteen.

4. My kids now no longer want to play with the ipod or the itouch, they only have eyes for one gadget.

5. I know I’m going to take some heat for this but I’m going to cast my lot into the idea that the OWS protestors are more violent and racist than The Tea Party. There, I said it.

6. I may like Star Wars references more than the actual movies.

7. Had a customer tell me she loved me yesterday. Don’t worry, I told my wife. She is OK with my awesome customer service skills coupled with natural animal magnetism.

8. Owned an iPad for a week now. Can’t imagine how I was able to survive without it.

9. I may like the turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce after Thanksgiving more than the actual meal.

10. I assume a higher quality of life without the NBA.

While staring at my feet – which by the way were fixed in scuffed up black wing-tips – it hit me again. Maybe not as heavily as before but there was weight nonetheless.

I’m starting over.

I was sitting in a nondescript room used for training. Eighteen of us sat wrapped around a horseshoe set of mitred tables. Most were much younger than myself. And for the most part they nodded as if they understood.

The scuff marks on my well-worn shoes had my own eyes running over them again and again. Their age and wear an echo of my own. Are shoes only as old as they feel?

But then something happened.

I embraced the difficulty and confusion. I still want a peaceful soul and this seemed to be the only path heading in the direction. So I embraced feeling foolish and ignorant and weak. All of it. I owned it. No faking it.

And it felt great really. This should make sense to those who worship the God who is strong for the weak. Even if hard to breathe life into.

The temptation in every situation is to be strong. Doesn’t matter who you are or what you do. We want to be competent, be seen as able and celebrated for our ability. Being singled out as clueless in the room is to spend time in the valley of the shadow of death. And the fear of this happening may be worse.

For some reason we celebrate humility but have no room for humiliation. I’m not suggesting we should pursue it so much as make room room for it. Make space for even the things we naturally want to avoid. A woman may avoid a broken heart by never loving. I could avoid humiliation by doing something more immediately and obviously suited to my gifts.

What gets in the way of a peaceful soul and embracing the humiliation is my own desire for immediate satisfaction and significance. I’m OK with the cross as long as the crown is simultaneous.

This should sound familiar.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

In an effort to keep you, my brilliant readers on your toes, today’s 10 will be random thoughts. The pessimists will feel cheated. The optimists get two for the price of the one and everyone else misses out.

1. I’m using a third party iPad to do this, if it doesn’t work I’ll be blaming Wall Street.

2. Nothing scarier than the thought of having to watch CSI:Miami.

3. Got an iPad on Thursday and finally looked up yesterday.

4. Every discussion about illegal immigration should begin with the fact that laws involving boundaries have been disregarded. We all need to think long and hard about that.

5. For my birthday, my wife made me chocolate-covered bacon and pralines with bacon and I fell in love with her all over again.

6. Educational cartoons are the worst. I assume a causation.

7. I am experiencing what the experts call “post birthdayweek blues” and I am looking into medication.

8. Tried to write down all the unwritten rules and poof!!! they disappeared.

9. “What is the meaning of life?” has been replaced by “Why would anyone willingly choose to not use a Mac?

10. All I want for Christmas is a jet pack.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Got an iPad. Now I just need internet service that works.

I’d like to thank my family members who contributed to the purchase of the iPad. If I do something awesome with it, I’ll give them some credit. And I’ll blame them if I ignore my kids and wife.

Gained 2 pounds on birthdayweek. And it ain’t over.

Because people know I have an affection for bacon, I’ve gotten a few bacon-themed gifts. Y’all do know I like one-hundred dollar bills, right?

Only those who have recieved an iPhone or an iPad as a gift can understand how Harry potter felt when he opened his Nimbus Two Thousand.

I may or may not be considering downloading a graphic novel to read on my iPad.

#Occupymugshotsgrillandbar

I need to stop celebrating my birthday so I can play with my new toy.

Did I mention I got a new iPad 2?

Birthdayweek is going pretty well. Still waiting for fireworks, red carpet and tributes from Hollywood stars.

I didn’t dream about my job last night but I did dream about Steve Jobs for some reason.

Last night we had wings for dinner as part of the celebration of my birthdayweek and then before going to bed my wife said she really enjoyed them and then I fell in love all over again.

Truth will out.

To cap off my birthday, the wife and I will drive north to tour the only Frank Lloyd Wright house in Alabama. I’m afraid to tell my brothers this.

Today is my last day in the 30’s. I hope this makes all of you feel old.

I get excited about being in my hometown the same others get excited about being in someone else’s.

Doctors want you to rest so you can get better…unless you are in the hospital where they wake you up every couple of hours.

Last night I was working through some suggestions from my Editor on the book and I thought, “Wow, that’s pretty good…I really wrote that?”

As we creep ever closer to my 40th I thought about doing 10 regrets. But that just seemed depressing and I couldn’t come up with that many anyway. So let’s look forward, shall we?

The following are 10 hopes for the next 40:

1. To love my wife the way my Dad loves my mom. To hurt because something hurts her and not simply because it gets in the way. To hang on tight till the end of our days here and we move on ahead.

2. To not have my feelings numbed by the shear weight of years stacked upon years. To laugh easily and be moved by beauty and ugliness.

3. To never grow out of the joy of having the windows down and the music up. To still enjoy the moment and take the long way home.

4. To be a better friend. To fight against the natural desire to be insular and tertiary to other people’s lives. And vice versa.

5. To be comfortable in this aging skin. Getting upset about getting old is as foolish as wishing grass wasn’t green. I want to look in the mirror and smile merely because I’m there.

6. To keep pressing against the tide of unknowing. My memory has finished it’s continual unabated waxing and now often wanes. But I don’t wanna forget how it feels to hold the relatively new hands of my beautiful kids.

7. I want to still get the chills when “Backstreets” streams out of my speakers. I want to be moved by “Carrickfergus” and “What A Little Moonlight Can Do”.

8. I want to learn how read the Bible as a worshipper and not a teacher or preacher. I want to use a diving board and dive in and relish the submersion. I don’t want to use it as a springboard.

9. To be less insecure about who I am. Justification should be the death knell for this but often it is just not so. Being less insecure would mean less reaction and more laughter.

10. To never tire of being stunned by the night sky. To not stop stopping and looking up. Taking the time to be dazzled by all those things which shine large and bright.

I turn 40 this week…hard for me to believe also. So I thought I’d start by giving you 40 fun facts about me and my life. After all it’s my birthday-week, so if it’s gonna be all about me, I might as well have fun with it…

1. I’ve probably had more jobs than 5 of you combined. From shipping baby announcements to engraving pens, I’ve done it.

2. Though I’ve never broken a bone, I’ve had back surgery.

3. My first car was a ’79 vette. Chevette. With no reverse.

4. I hated everyday of high school.

5. Sentences starting with an H are hard for me to get out because of my stuttering.

6. My earliest memory involves a sport I don’t really care for – basketball.

7. I’ve only shot a real gun once. Out of the 8 rounds I hit the skeet 7 times.

8. Starting in about 4th grade, I made terrible grades in school but I always tested well.

9. I don’t remember any of the Hebrew I learned in seminary even though I made pretty good grades in my classes.

10. I prefer cold weather to warm.

11. I’ve fought insecurity about every facet of my life since I can remember.

12. I get choked up very, very easily while watching a movie or TV show and resist watching movies I know are designed to do this.

13. When we moved form Birmingham in 2000, I was ready to leave. Now that we are back, I never want to.

14. A great evening is sitting out in the cool of the night and listening to Billie Holiday.

15. I wish I was more of a neat freak.

16. Sometimes my mind shifts from contemplative to lazy without me knowing it.

17. I eat peanut butter and cheese sandwiches every now and then.

18. I question the judgment of those who like CSI:Miami.

19. The only other country I’ve been to is Canada.

20. I read a lot of the same books over and over.

21. I prefer a good burger over steak.

22. Flying is not a favorite. Landing is good though.

23. I was mountains over beach till this last family trip down to the 30A.

24. Even if I could afford it, I wouldn’t do much shopping at Whole Foods.

25. I’ve seen It’s a Wonderful Life about 100 times.

26. Every day I look forward to getting in bed and reading.

27. I worry about my kids more than I should.

28. I’ve never voted for a Democrat.

29. Barbecue pork is a staple.

30. When my son says he doesn’t want to go to school, I agree with him on the inside while telling him he will have fun.

31. I have a book deal.

32. I named my son after Bob Dylan because my wife would not go for Van Morrison.

33. I have an arch enemy.

34. Coming up with these 40 is hard. And that is a little depressing.

35. My favorite book of the Bible is Romans.

36. Books about art theft are a favorite.

37. I can’t sleep without a fan humming in the room.

38. I’d rather be with my wife while doing something boring than be without her doing something interesting.

39. I worry about publicly failing at my new job.

40. I’m pretty much always hungry.

Protesters are the ultimate fundamentalists. Their modus operandi is to effect change merely by telling people what to do while never seeing their own guilt.

Started birthday week off with bacon this morning. Seemed only right.

When I heard about some Senators working to take care of the problem of people selling fake maple syrup, my first thought was – finally.

For my birthday I asked for a rocket-launcher, an iPad 2 and enough money for people to want to protest outside my house because of it.

Weekends are now very. very precious. Not because I’m not working but because of the reason why I work.

1. Next week is my birthday week. So all blog posts will be allllll about me. So nothing will change, take comfort in that, my readers.

2. A protest I could get behind is for better Groupons.

3. Starting to feel more confident in my job. That is until I assume I must be doing something wrong. Then I go back to questioning everything.

4. My dad is in the hospital. Everything is colored by that fact.

5. Have I mentioned how much I love Antiques Roadshow? Don’t tell anyone though. I got a rep to uphold.