Thursday’s Random Thoughts

1. I just watched No Direction Home again. It’s probably my 5th time to watch Scorsese’s documentary on Bob Dylan. And this time I saw something new. Dylan didn’t want to be an insider of any movement. Everyone wanted to be an insider with him and his circle. But he didn’t want any such thing. That’s something. Seems almost holy, if only by it, we mean “set apart.”

2. After losing half my goal for #2015, I gained it all back in one meal of pizza.

3. Book two is called The God of All My Tomorrows: A Memoir of Worry.

4. I miss telling my parents good news about the kids. I miss my mom’s easy tears of joy. And my dad’s ready smile.

5. If you cannot follow the money, you will see something extraordinary.

6. My wife made homemade yogurt. Next thing ya know, we’ll be raising chickens next to the compost pile. If she starts talking like Ann Voskamp, we’re gonna need a counselor.

7. Last year I read a lot of Hemingway, Buechner, and Marilynne Robinson and they have ruined me.

8. It is so strange to be told your book is “life-giving” while looking for life in other’s words yourself because the work you get paid for is sapping you of life. It’s nice to hear, of course. But strange what it brings.

9. I am the most thankful for prayer when it seems to be only thing I have for a given situation.

10. This weekend we will have seven 3rd grade boys spend the night at our house. And it’s supposed to rain. Prayers appreciated.

Thursday’s Random Thoughts


1. We are on day 15 of #diet2015 and I can no longer even remember the last time I ate pizza.

2. I have applied for so many jobs over the past few years and gotten the standard rejection email so many times, I can feel a numbness setting in. That seems worse than the exhausted hope of disappointment I once felt. At least, that’s how I’d view it in someone else.

3. Giving away my book for free on Noisetrade is fun. We need the money. But honestly, that’s part of the fun and I cannot explain that at all.

4. There is no room in the message of the good news of what God has done in Jesus for preaching on our potential to do something special. It is crowded out by our sin and God’s grace.

5. Book two is coming.

6. Someone asked me if I still wanted to go back to pastoral ministry. That’s a complicated question. If I were approached, I would talk to a church. But I refuse to apply in the way I apply for other jobs outside of ministry.

7. The deeper I go into grace, the more I see how I forgive my own particular sins easier than I forgive the sins of others with which I do not struggle.

8. So far my New Years Resolution to enjoy my wife’s cooking is going well.

9. The more you see yourself as a sheep without a shepherd apart from the mercy of the Holy Spirit, the more likely you are to be kind to the discouraged and dying. You know the territory well.

10. The best investment we have made for 2015 has been The Mockingbird Devotional.

Thursday’s Random Thoughts


1. I don’t understand why people say they are humbled when they get an award. I’m always the opposite when I am complimented or recognized.

2. If you’re job description (self imposed or not) is to find something wrong, you will find something wrong.

3. You will be told you need to go see the movie Selma. The subject is important and so you will be encouraged to go for that reason. And you will be told by pastors and other Christian writers to do so. But here is the thing. Read about it before you go. Because if the historians are right, Selma got it wrong and has made LBJ the bad guy when it would have really been a Kennedy. The question that needs to be answered is, “Are truth and kindness important in telling history through film?” For the follower of Jesus, they are paramount.

4. Jesus prayed for those who shamed him in public. This is the difference between Christianity and other belief systems. He would not have us fight for his honor. We honor him when we love those who shame us and deride him and his way.

5. There is no one I’d rather be going through the fires of #diet2015 with than my wife.

6. A question to #the15 who are angry about the books being sold at Lifeway: Are you OK with C.S. Lewis?

7. I think there are two great problems in the Christian book publishing industry. The first is everyone wants to be on the NYT best seller list. So they (publisher, author, ghostwriter) will do whatever they can to get there. This is why ResultSource exists – to game the system and make it look like the book is selling well based on the quality of the book, itself. The second problem is the justification of bad writing and ghostwriting because the content is necessary and good. The ends justify the means. this strips the written of it’s inherent beauty and makes it merely a conduit of information. It’s like looking at a beautiful tree and only seeing baseball bats.

8. It is hard to live in the here and now when you pine for baseball season like I do.

9. This past Sunday I had a terrible scare with my truck. Thanks to God, I sustained no injuries and the truck was easily fixed. But it scared me in the moment. And then it scared me afterward the more I thought about what it would have been like if it had happened a moments earlier or later. That fear turned into something like worship.

10. I have not had pizza in at least a week because of #diet2015.

Music I’ve Enjoyed in 2014


We listen to a lot of music in our house. Rare is the time when none is playing, even in the background. But often the music is in the foreground and I will listen to albums all the way through over and over and over. But it’s rarely about what is new. Maybe new to us. I am often late to the party. Sometimes years late. More, it’s about what is right for the time. I’m not sure I listened to enough new albums this year to make a “Best of 2014″ list. So, how about a more modest list of “Music I’ve Enjoyed in 2014″ in no particular order?

In the comment section tell what music you’ve loved in 2014.

1. NEEDTOBREATHE – Rivers in the Wasteland. I resisted listening to them for a long time due to their awful name. And I have a rule about not listening to music that might be heard in Lifeway. But this album is rare phenomena. Great lyrics, vocals and melodies in the world of CCM. Highlight: “Wasteland”

2. The War on Drugs – Lost in the Dream. I didn’t even listen to this one till the Tuesday before Christmas. I’ve now listened to it 22 23 times. The more I listen, the more I hear and the more I enjoy this strange album. Could be my favorite of the year. Highlight: “Burning”

3. U2 – Songs of Innocence. The only thing more surprising than how they released their newest album was the quality of the album. It may end up being one of their top albums. The lyrics are as powerful as any album they’ve put out. Not since Aching Baby have they been so brilliant. Highlight: “Iris”

4. BRMC – Live in London. When I saw them live in 2013, I felt as if I had seen something really special. Heard something that strummed the electric nerves of reality in a way, I had not experienced previously. This DVD/CD captures it well. I’ve watched it so many times it plays in my head regularly. Highlight: “Beat the Devil’s Tattoo”

5. Bill Mallonee – Winnowing. I’ve been listening to his songs for so many years, I don’t even know where nostalgia ends and just plain good americana music begins. I’m pretty sure, though, this is one of his best. He should be more famous than he is, but if he was, we may not have these hurting songs. Highlight: “Tap Your Heart On It’s Shoulder”

6. John Fullbright – Songs. I’m very new to this guy. But his music is the kind that makes you believe you’ve been listening to these songs for years. Incredible vocals. great songwriting. And when he gets on the piano, it all gets as wondrous as the night sky. Highlight: “Happy”

7. Steve Earle – El Corazon. This album is almost 20 years old. But it’s fairly new to me. And it’s an almost perfect album. The songs are varied. They range from standard Texas country to folk to near grunge followed by a song you will swear was one of Hank’s. Highlight: “Fort Worth Blues”

8. The Violet Burning – The Story of Our Lives. This 3 CD epic concept album has been around for a couple of years but I’ve never put in the effort to sit down and listen straight through. It takes some commitment. But it was so worth it and after doing so I made it a priority to do it again. And then again. It’s brilliant, and dark and then beautiful. Highlight: “br0ther part 1″

9. Ryan Adams – Ryan Adams. I buy everything by David Ryan Adams. And I have about 60 bootlegs and unreleased albums. He’s just a genius and almost everything he does is at the very least interesting. Highlight: “Shadows”

10. Jack White – Lazaretto. This is such an odd mixture of songs. But it works in a way only Jack White could make it do so. And it may be my favorite album he has ever done. So infectious and full of little ear worms. Highlight: “Temporary Ground”

11. Corey Nolen – Drive Down South. I love country music. Not modern pop country. The real deal. And Corey delivers on this album produced by Brian Murphy of the Lone Bellow. Corey is also my neighbor and doing a house show at my place on Jan 10th with Ashley Spurling, who sang on all the Red Mountain Church albums. Highlight: “Haunt Me”

12. Thad Cockrell – To Be Loved. A voice that will blow you over the first time you hear it. I’d heard his name for years but had never really sat down and listened to him. But then we heard him do a few songs live with Andrew Peterson and I immediately went and bought his album and have not regretted that purchase one bit. Highlight: “To Be Loved”

13. Steve Taylor and The Perfect Foil Goliath. I’ve been waiting 20 years for this album. Seriously, it’s been over 20 years since Steve Taylor released an album. And this does not disappoint. It’s clever and brilliant punk rock and it was worth the wait. Highlight: “Comedian”

Random Thoughts Before Christmas


1) Someone asked me recently about some good Christian books to buy as presents. And by “good” they meant well-written. There are some. The problem? There is so little. Most is written by pastors who are writing like Piper or Warren. They aren’t looking to Hemingway or even Buechner. And instead of words bleeding onto the page money falls from stiff spines.

2) The anticipation of Advent has been supplanted by waiting for one of us to get sick.

3) Nothing has helped me get perspective this Christmas season more than Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God. And wine.

4) Jesus was born into a world of far more injustice than we may ever see in our lives. And yet he came. And the government is upon his shoulders.

5) My first gift this year was a huge box of bacon, setting the tone for the rest of all gift-giving.

6) When it comes to Christmas, the wonder over the lesson.

7) There is a part of me wanting to outgrow my desire to get presents at Christmas. but then there is part of me really, really wanting a record player.

8) This is my first orphan Christmas. My parents have gone on ahead to experience what is “not yet” of the incarnation for the rest of us.

9) If my five year old is still singing the wrong “words” to “Arf, the Erald Angels Sing” when Christmas is over, then the season will have been a success.

10) Serious. My favorite part of Christmas is buying gifts for Bethany. Buying gifts I cannot afford. Because she’d be happy with the smallest bit of thoughtfulness. But she is so much of a gift I cannot help but overspend.

Random Thoughts for the Weekend

1) If we make everything about gender and race, everything will be about gender and race and we will lose it all.

2) The internet has made it possible for us to respond to someone’s written words instantaneously without having to think about them. Before, the written word of a book or magazine, could be responded to, but never with immediacy. Now, a writer can craft ideas and sentences over days or weeks and someone can read those words and express their disagreement with two minutes of thought.

3) Christmas is for broken families.

4) The Holy Scriptures do not allow us to attack racism in another without understanding the call is to love others. You can hate racism and still be an unloving person toward the uncultured or overweight.

5) I’m not sure I’m doing a great job at loving my neighbor. And by neighbor, I mean my middle child.

6) There is a place of growth in the Christian, where you are able to see your sin rise up in you yet again and almost laugh at yourself because it got you again. Its a holy recognition. And it’s grace because you can laugh at the irony of your recognition after the fact. I don’t know what to call it. Humble recognition? I don’t know. But when it happens it feels like freedom.

7) I am glad to be associated with the “Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief.”

8) I’ve been listening to some of the Christian artists I grew up listening to. A lot of the music is bad. A lot is good too. But the words are different from today. These days Christian music is either worship music or the lyrics are so “poetic” you cannot make out the meaning without a decoder ring. They mean anything and everything. It would be nice to have a prophetic voice show up on the scene who wasn’t trying to be Dylan so much as John the Revelator.

9) If we do not listen to people, we will not know the hurts and pains into which we would fling our pious platitudes had we not listened.

10) Don’t help your kids be cool. There is no call for cool in the Scriptures. There is a call for kindness, though. Help them with that.

Thursday’s Random Thoughts


1. I have gone back through the letters to the churches and even though Paul and the other Apostles had ample opportunity to complain about a government far more unjust than our own, and yet… nothing.

2. It is very easy to let the hope of a good thing kill contentment.

3. I don’t care who you are and how cool you are, the newest needtobreathe album is a really great album.

4. Young people need to know that one day they may be very good at their job and still feel like you are missing out. There is no way of figuring this out. There are no answers. But there is a God who is faithful when life is not what you thought it would be. When vocational fulfillment is not. And all the motivational posters have let you down.

5. Christians should be the last people in the world to be excited about a coming year. None of us knows what is coming. Your year may be full of death and tragedy and disappointment. Only wealthy, healthy westerners assume the best. Those who have stared into the eyes of death and walked gingerly through the valley of the shadow of his land know this. Assume only this, the One who has defeated death is faithful unto death.

6. You do know that the journalists are making a killing off your outrage, don’t you?

7. I’m tired of not eating fried chicken.

8. You are probably more worried about your kids saying a cuss word than you are about whether they are kind to the awkward, uncool kids.

9. All of Paul’s outrage seems to be reserved for the Judaizers. Not Roman politicians. Not soldiers.

10. I would rather eat my wife’s cooking than the fare of any 5 star restaurant.

Thursday’s Random Thoughts – Thanksgiving Edition


I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. — G.K. Chesterton

We all have so much to be thankful for. Sometimes the difficulties and disappointments that come our way with life-changing force make it hard to see the goodness of God through the veil of tears. So it’s good to have a season where you remind yourself of what we have to be thankful for. Every Most Some nights we have sat at the table and shared what we are thankful for this month. It can get hilarious. Anyway here are some random things I’m thankful for…

1. I’m thankful for the wind that blows the leaves out of our yard into our neighbor’s yard because they have teenagers who can rake them up.

2. I’m thankful for the way my wife’s hair takes on a reddish edge in the bright sun light. It’s hard to explain but it has the feel of seeing her for the first time all over again.

3. I’m thankful for friends who when we go out to eat, don’t eat everything but eat too much for there to be enough to take it home and so I make sure I sit real close to those friends.

4. I’m thankful my wife is a fantastic cook because we cannot afford to go out to eat a whole lot.

5. I’m thankful for my books for which I wouldn’t trade the grandest of vacations.

6. I’m thankful for a God who rescues those of us who resist it.

7. I’m thankful for bluesy guitar work that pushes against the darkness in ways I cannot understand.

8. I’m thankful for the hide button on Facebook and the mute button on Twitter.

9. I’m thankful for my kids’ laughter.

10. I’m thankful for coffee without which nothing.

11. I’m thankful for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because it’s the best excuse to stop cleaning up before family comes over.

12. I’m thankful for my brothers and sister-in-laws and nieces and nephews on this first holiday season without my parents. Keeps those orphan blues at bay.

13. I’m thankful for the Jason Hayward trade.

14. I’m thankful for the Psalms in which I’ve seen myself and God more.

15. I’m thankful there is a dawn after the long dark night of the soul.

16. I’m thankful for the God-given skill of putting anything in a taco.

17. I’m thankful for Mystery Road which I’ve been listening to for 25 years.

18. I’m thankful for grilled leftover turkey, cranberry sauce, and cream cheese sandwiches.

19. I’m thankful I live in the city I love the most.

20. I’m thankful for the hope, undeserved, by which we make our way in this world till the end of our days and see the One hoped for, face-to-face.

Thursday’s Random Thoughts

My brain is like the drawer in the kitchen holding almost everything imaginable, Much of it, you have no idea why it’s still there. But you keep it around anyway. These are my thoughts. Dead batteries. Pencils without lead. A drawer full of rubber bands and packets of Duck Sauce.

1. What I’m about to say may sound strange. But you get used to the blues. And my fear in what has seemed like a slow but sure climbing out, is that I’d forget the mercy and goodness of God while I was there. But over the past week or so I have heard two stories that are excruciating for two individuals. My first reaction? An understanding pain. Knowing that everything good thing now has a cloud casting a shadow over it. But I also know the goodness and mercy of God in the midst. I want them to know it.

2. I think I can picture how the father ran to the son in the story of the prodigal son because of when the pizza delivery guy turns onto my street.

3. I don’t watch a lot of TV outside of baseball, but we will watch a little. What little we do watch in the genre of drama is mostly just that, drama. Constant friction between characters. There are moments of friendliness and kindness but so little getting along well. The arc of most stories go this way.

4. One of the best things my parents did for me as a young person was tell me “no” a lot when I asked for the latest and greatest and never buy me an awesome car.

5. The ethos of the protest culture is missing from the NT.

6. My wife finished painting our bedroom and so last night we sat in the floor and listened to The Grateful Dead and ate Doritos.

7. A number of months ago I made a statement of incredulity about Pastor Mark Driscoll’s million dollar home.  Today we found out how much he made and what is so sad is he could afford it very easily at the expense of the sheep he lied to.

8. I really wish I’d been introduced to needtobreathe earlier…errrr, listened to Sean Dameron earlier.

9. In an effort to be more spiritual than everyone else, we never stopped doing advent last year.

10. The cross is a place where every imaginable hurt can be seen. And understood.

Thursday’s Random Thoughts

These happen for a reason. A few reasons. First, my brain works like this. Second, while some of these may become a post one day, most don’t have the legs. Third, I get in trouble with my wife if I don’t post them.

1) I hate violence. But more than that, I hate violence against the weak and the powerless.

2) I’m late to the party on NEEDTOBREATHE but my wife and I have really enjoyed listening to them, even though they have the worst band name ever.

3) While I understand the desire for bloggers to write posts about the lessons learned from the Mark Driscoll/Mars Hill debacle, I do not think the time has come for those posts yet. The story is still unfolding. There are real people’s lives still being adversely affected in real time by the ongoing actions and non-action of Driscoll and Mars Hill Leadership. Posts of lessons learned are good clickbait but reduce what is happening without waiting for the fallout. This is not merely the story of what could happen. This is a story of what is happening.

4) Am I the only one who feels more secure when I wear a jacket or coat? Not just against the cold weather, but more secure as a person. I should probably talk to my therapist about that.

5) My daughter has her first “dance” this Friday night and there is not enough Xanax in the world.

6) I keep hearing about so many pastors leaving the ministry to go do something else. I do not blame them so much as want to warn them of what I’ve been through. Maybe they will be more successful outside vocational ministry than I have been. And therefore not as miserable. But it is a little unnerving. I do not judge them. But am unnerved and wonder if something is afoot.

7) Better band name than NEEDTOBREATHE: The Need to, The Need, The Needs, NTB, ntb, (basically anything except what they have), etc.

8) I cannot for the life of me understand all the emphasis on leadership among pastors and minsters. The New Testament has so many admonitions to our leaders and none of them sound like the leadership lessons being bought and sold these days. I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that the leadership lessons for pastors will not work in the business world. But the lessons of the business world, specifically marketing, are the order of the day.

9) I imagine heaven is a lot like when I’m sitting around the kitchen table laughing with my wife and kids.

10) Just kidding, I don’t have a therapist. #wine


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