1. *I* only eat free-range Peeps.

2. I know the conventional wisdom is to not throw stones in glass houses but you may not want to live in one either, what with the lack of privacy and all. And all the stones being thrown around.

3. Two words: Bacon Jerky.

4. For some reason my wife refuses to dress up like Princess Leia…now OR at Halloween.

5. Well, now I am *really* confused on what the Nobel Peace Prize means.

6. I have a hatchet.

7. Is it bad parenting to call your child ‘Darth Knox’? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

8. I don’t have any money nor prospects for any, so my wife must’ve married me for my body.

9. Do you think Jimmy Carter avoids the mall around Easter?

10. Glad I was able to ease the 8 year old mind of my daughter. “No one *really* died in that light saber battle between Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader?”