1. My wife said I needed to write something light on my blog or people would think I was depressed. Course I couldn’t hear her, I was listening to Adele sing ‘Someone Like You’ over and over.

2. My kids keep expecting me to buy them stuff like food and clothing.

3. Sometimes while talking to customers about their finances I wonder how they would respond if I told them I failed Algebra 2. Aaaaand the second time I only “passed” because my teacher was tired of me.

4. How come there are no TV shows with tough female leads that look like super models?

5. You know what’s funny? Turkey Bacon.

6. I’ll take Romney’s “gaffe” over Obama’s hanging out with celebs while our embassies burn.

7. When is Jane Austen gonna stop being so lazy and write us another novel?

8. Why do my neighbors with pristine yards keep offering me their lawn and garden tools “to use anytime I need them”?

9. After a year in the banking industry I am pretty sure most people think banks should just give them money because they want it.

10. My kids are awesome. You want one of ‘em?

 

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