1. If you’re a conservative, don’t you want to elect someone liberals don’t like? And vice versa?

2. I’m pretty sure if my wife went to cooking school, she’d be famous.

3. The pastor is the only position I can think of where he is expected to be the expert with all the right answers while taking seriously the opinions of those who are not pastors, nor want to be.

4. If politicians were serious about fighting crime they would give police officers rocket launchers.

5. But if my wife was a famous cook, I’d probably still be single and miserable. And hungry… which is ironic.

6. Bacon is redemptive. It covers a multitude of culinary sins. “I burnt dinner!” “Does it have bacon on it?” “Yes…” “Well then.”

7. So if you think about it, I get to enjoy this incredible food at the expense of everyone else not getting to. Sounds about right to me.

8. Anyone else still trying to figure out how Billy Joel got Christie Brinkley?

9. Ask yourself this question about the pastors you listen to: Are they known for their message of grace or stepping on toes?

10. And if my wife was hiding back in some kitchen, I could not watch her cook… she’s dang good looking… so, it’s like I get to enjoy this special matrix of all that’s awesome in my very own kitchen… add bacon and it’s perfect.