I suppose it is understandable for a young man interested in nearly everything to pursue vocational ministry. Serving God – who made it all – as a Pastor is an understandable vocation for one who would spend his days tracing all the streams back to the fountain.
But now I’m no longer spending my days doing this.
At least I don’t get paid to. A couple of months ago I resigned from my position as an Associate Pastor.
Yesterday was my last day as one.
As excited as we are about this next chapter in our story, it’s a bit surreal. All the contradictory emotions are present. Relief and anxiety. Freedom and constriction. Power and fear. All of it melding together in a way that will most likely only be understandable in hindsight. The emotions of a new vocation. The stress of different expectations. The relief in being able to provide for my family. The freedom from the expectations. All the frustrations of the past. The hope for the future.
It’s all present. No regrets, of course. Just a season of moving from one kind of life to another. On the contrary, for all this to happen around Thanksgiving is appropriate. We are thankful to be dealing with all of this in our hometown, surrounded by family and friends. We are thankful for my new job. Thankful for our time at BLC. We are thankful we can now attend the church where Bethany and I met and discovered grace. Thankful for our kids, our home. And we are thankful for promises from this God who has made it all possible and good. And we plan on spending our days tracing it all back to him.
Even though I I don’t get paid to do it any longer.
Echoes and Stars 
Matt – I look forward to your Echoes and Stars; they make me think, laugh and sometimes gasp. However, one of the best things I notice is that you almost always make reference to "we" instead of "I" meaning you and Bethany – you and your wife as being one. And this one is a perfect example with: I resigned as a Pator and WE are excited, WE are fearful, WE are thankful. It's one of the things I love and repect about you both.
You are a dad therefore you are still a pastor. You will always be an elder. Who knows what the future will hold vocationally.
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I went through this a year ago. As I look back and reflect it's more of an adjustment of life goals. I am no longer trying to attain a vocation in church ministry. I still do ministry and am still a pastor in all regards except vocation. I don't have as much time to focus on it, but I know this is where God wants me.
We don't know each other personally, brother, but – for what it's worth – I think a pastor is ALWAYS a pastor. He may temporarily not have a flock to tend, or get a check from a church, but if the calling was from God …you're a pastor.