1. In 3rd grade I hid my report cards from my parents. My daughter makes A/B honor roll. At least I gave her the inability to pay attention.

2. I’ve been fighting a cold for 3 weeks but I will not yield.

3. I just feel asleep in my chair after that last thought.

4. All this talk in the church about the need to talk bluntly about sex assumes we should be talking about it a lot.

5. I wonder if Adam ever said, “Eve, you’re the only girl for me.”

6. So, are people still like occupying and stuff?

7. For some reason the people I work with at the bank think I know how to count and do math and things of that sort.

8. A libertarian politician is one who thinks no one should tell you what to do except them.

9. I’m afraid I’m losing my kids. They seem to be just as happy with sausage as with bacon.

10. Finally, we are going to get some cold weather down here. Now I can build a fire, get all cozy on the couch and tell everyone on Facebook about it.