One of my favorite bloggers has posted links detailing a case of church discipline at Mars Hills Church in Seattle. I was not an Acts 29 pastor but I was a pastor at a church that was planted as one and now no longer is. Get all that?

Regardless, this has the ring of truth to my ears. And not just because I’m cynical. Or disgruntled.

There is a breed of person who should probably not read this story. At least not yet. If you think it cannot be true or you are blinded by celebrity worship, then move along to the bow of the ship with your instruments.

Those who want to proceed, go ahead and hit the link above and then come back here…

Are you back? There are a lot of things wrong with this but in my mind the gravest is the letter sent out on The City. But maybe that’s because I’ve been the subject of discussion on The City. And it was not edifying discussion. Only because a good friend alerted me to it, did I know and was able to defend myself. I was not able to access site personally.

I’d much rather write about Flannery O’Connor than this. But these kinds of things need to be discussed, especially if Driscoll is going to hold up his congregation for the world to see as the standard.

Let me make myself clear hear. I believe in church discipline. The great majority of the theology taught at Mars Hill, I adhere to. And love.

But this reeks of something other than caring discipline. It has all the hallmarks of authoritarianism. Or something worse. Remember this guy went to them and confessed. Again. And again.

Feel free to discuss in the comments. All attempts to go after me will be left up and laughed at. 😉

I’ve been enthralled with the writings of Flannery O’Connor for about 15 years now. Her short stories and essays have become companions. A couple of months ago, I was having lunch with a friend, who also likes her work. He asked me pointedly, “Why O’Connor?” I cannot remember what I said but the question keeps getting asked and answered in my own head. This past week I sat down, while sick, and read her novel, The Violent Bear It Away. The question came again. Here are ten reasons to consider giving her a try.

1. She’s a great writer. This may seem the most obvious. But I am not so sure. Oftentimes, her southern gothic stories and the characters within overshadow how well she wrote. She didn’t just create great characters and memorable stories, she surrounded them with incredible sceneries of words and sentences. I can picture the Geranium sitting on the window sill.

2. She wrote short stories. Now, you may think the shorter the story, the easier it is to write. Short story writers like O’Connor would disagree. Creating something of lasting value with limited length is no easy task. She did this masterfully, every short story a snapshot into realities which we might not have noticed otherwise. Every year an award is given in her name to a short story writer.

3. Every story is one of faith. Sometimes it’s front and center and at others, faith is in the corners lurking. Waiting. But its always there. This is not to say her stories should be seen as morality tales. She would not appreciate that. But she was a woman of deep faith and she wrote as if.

4. She nails language. If you are a writer and you want to write novels, study O’Connor. She dignifies all the contours of Southern speech and thought with writing which distinguishes the region’s accent and colloquialisms from everywhere else.

5. She’s funny. Her stories are full of humor. Not because she tells jokes of any kind but because they are full of everyday ridiculousness. The kind we laugh at in ourselves and others. her most horrific and most popular story, A Good Man Is Hard to Find, stands this kind of humor right up against the invasion of grace in a haunting final scene.

6. Her stories are not easy. Yes, this is an actual reason to read her, not to avoid her. Learning and stretching your tastes is not just for High School and College students. It’s true, you may read a story of hers and wonder what the point is. But there you have already missed the point. Her stories are not morality tales. They are stories. And hers will stick with you for years after you’ve read them. And chances are at some point you will see something in the real world you would have missed had you not read Good Country People or Everything That Rises Must Converge. Often parts of our own lives only make sense years later. Why should fiction be so different?

7. She’s Southern. In my opinion, this may be the greatest thing about her. But forgive me, I’m Southern and we are not used to being proud of people or happenings in which  the rest of world is also. But while many from the South long to escape the stereotypes and the distinctives, she embraced them and in a way she has been an instrument for redeeming them. She doesn’t romanticize, she merely points.

8. She’s Catholic. This may turn you off but in my mind it’s an asset. She is able to show me things I might not see without her eyes. Her eyes, so full of the sacramental, help me see the echoes of grace and the mercy of God, not just in her stories but everywhere.

9. Her characters are grotesque. This does not mean they are all ugly. This does not mean they are all bad. But their extremes show us more of them than we might see otherwise. She draws them in stark relief to all the heroes we are accustomed to staring at. They can help us understand other people and they can help us understand ourselves.

10. This was her life. That’s not an entirely fair statement. And this is hard to explain, but when you read about her life, her writing defines it. She never married. There are no romances, really. There is very little drama. She was single and lived a short life. And no beauty by the world’s standards. It is all about the words picked up by the winds of her mind and then laid down in these stories. She was devoted to these stories with routine and affection. And I think the stories find their most potent power in the context of her life.

“And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses Reed and Master Reed, because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up with them. They will have a great deal of money, and you will have none: it is your place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to them.” 

“What we tell you is for your good,” added Bessie, in no harsh voice, “you should try to be useful and pleasant, then, perhaps, you would have a home here; but if you become passionate and rude, Missis will send you away, I am sure.”     – from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte 

This scene is early in the story of Jane Eyre, orphaned and taken in by an uncle, now dead. The uncle exacted a promise of kindness from his wife on behalf of Jane. Attacked by her older male cousin and now sentenced to a room for hours, one rumored to be haunted, she is scolded by the servants.

The Reed family, along with all the servants, even the one servant who deigned to speak tenderly to Jane Eyre, understood that as long as they housed her, there was no other kindness needed. This was sufficient.

She is ridiculed when not ignored. Lied about often and left out of festivities such as Christmas, she seeks warmth where it may be found – a ragged toy, a borrowed book or a quickly fading hearth.

1. Got another tweet from Dale Murphy last night. Which is a dream come true. As a kid back in the 80s I’d watch him play on TBS and think, “Wow, I’d love to get a tweet from him.”

2. Grammar rules are for the little people. We can’t say ‘midgets’ anymore, right?

3. This week I’ve eaten quiche twice, drank hot tea, read a poem and started Jane Eyre. I’m afraid Driscoll is going to tweet, “Farewell Matt Redmond.”

4. You don’t think Murph thinks I’m the Christian singer, do you?

5. I go back and forth with Gingrich…I mean sometimes I’m reminded of Monty Python but sometimes I immediately think of fruit cookies.

6. I may or may not be looking over my wife’s shoulder while she peruses Pinterest right now.

7. Not all that glitters is glitter.

8. Wait, do Mormons listen to CCM?

9. My wife showed me a bacon recipe on Pinterest and didn’t pin it. I don’t even know her anymore.

10. The laughter of my children has all the magic of stars at eye-level.

“And Adam and Eve joined in the song of the stars and the streams and the wind in the trees, the wonderful song of love to the one who made them. Their hearts were filled with happiness. And nothing ever made them sad or lonely or sick or afraid.”

By this time our attention fixed like predators on prey. And my eyes in collusion with my heart almost caused the embarrassment of me losing it completely in front of my kids.

Maybe it’s because I don’t feel well. Maybe it was the moment, sitting there in solemn silence with those two holy persons so close I could smell the shampoo in their hair and feel the softness of their pajamas.

Or maybe I’m tired. And this sounded like the vacation we all hope for but never really materializes. The dream of so much good invading our senses the bad is crowded out.

Just imagining such a time is incredible and also painful. Sure, I’ve thought about it before but sometimes, like last night, boom, it lands on me in a way I can almost taste. So the heart aches. Because it is not really within reach. And so we gotta look forward.

But I kept looking back.

No colds, for me or my family.
No worries about the future.
No worries about now.
The bills.
The needs.
No wondering if my kids will turn out alright.
No taking dessert away from kids.
No not being able to afford it.
No broken sinks.
Or cars.
Or bones
Lives.

All the hurt was unknown for Adam and Eve. My wife and I think a Hampton Inn is the lap of luxury. Can you imagine having the world to yourself and no pain or sickness or hunger or jealousy or frustration or futility in work or sadness or cancer or loss or death?

This is not to say my life is hard – though every life has some hard, jagged edges. But sometimes the difficulties are in technicolor brilliance and the good stuff is playing on a crappy black and white TV with 3 channels.

And I know I’m looking back at what was and I need to look forward at will be. I assume it will be better. That’s pretty hard to believe though. I’d just be happy with Eden at this point.

In case you have not yet heard about the interview Mark Driscoll did over in Britain – wait, are you sitting down? – he needlessly offends a number of people, namely all the not-famous pastors throughout the UK. Especially the old ones who wear clerical robes.

If you want to read up on it, go here, here and here.

Following are 10 thoughts on all of this.

1. This is getting very predictable. About every six months, Driscoll says something ridiculous, gets a lot of attention, blames others, does not apologize and no one within his own tribe ever calls him on it. You see, only if he uses really bad language is anyone going to call him on it publicly. Because the fruit of the Spirit is clean language.

2. The celebrity pastor. Driscoll sees the presence of the Spirit in the life of a church through the singular phenomenon of young, well-known male preachers. In other words we are no longer discussing the celebrity pastor as an underlying issue which we need to careful of. It is now the clear standard by which we measure faithfulness and success in ministry.

3. The missional problem. Obviously as long as you are missional (whatever that means), you can be insulting. You can go too far and justify your actions by your works as a pastor. You can be unkind but it’s OK because you have a big church with a lot of conversions.

4. Actually. I would love to live in a culture where there were no famous young pastors. Just faithful ones.

5. “But you used to love Driscoll.” I also used to need a diaper.  Both have a lot of crap in common. And I grew out of both in just a few years.

6. I am not a liberal in my theology. I’m very conservative in my theology. But I am also broad in my desire for unity. I’m getting to the point where I would rather be associated with some of the more liberal theologians than guys like Driscoll who bully and ridicule and defend themselves with their spiritual bona fides.

7. Jesus or Mesus? Go listen to the interview and you will wonder. Or not.

8. Was the interview combative? Nope. But what if it was? Shouldn’t that be OK? Or should Driscoll assume all interviewers agree with him. He could have easily just said, “Hey, you are going to disagree with me on this but here is what I believe…” But he didn’t. He called the interviewer annoying. That was before he insulted the interviewer’s wife.

9. Jonathan Edwards was a sissy. I mean, he wore one of those “dresses” too. Didn’t he? As well as Calvin. And all the reformers. Too bad they didn’t live in a  culture where it was acceptably masculine to wear a Mickey Mouse shirt.

10. The great problem. The great problem for the church is not that we aren’t sufficiently missions-oriented or don’t evangelize enough. It seems if that should be our focus Paul would have said something about our need for it. But he did say a lot about love and kindness and patience and peace and unity. The only reason this will not be a big deal to many people is because we don’t care about what Paul cared about. We would rather correct people than be kind to them. And it will continue.

Back when the earnest of writing was at an apex following the contract I signed and then mailed back to a publisher, I started looking for books on writing. To learn the craft of writing a book, yes, but mainly for some sanity.

I thought there was really something wrong with my mind. My emotions were everywhere. At once wanting to tell everyone and no one at all. Hope and despair cavorted with animal abandon.

And then out of nowhere I wanted to fade into obscurity. And have no one read anything. Or know me. And then excitement would come back stumbling in like a prodigal son – with a humble desire to have some measure of being read…of contributing to the vast edifice of good writing, whose shadow I’ve taken sanctuary in.

There was a hint of Junior High.

Back to the books, though. There are a lot of them. And some have been helpful. And while my skills needed honing, the heart and mind – the reservoir from which the words spring – needed counsel.

A friend, whose a much better writer, recommended Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. This was six months ago. That very night I spent more than an hour rifling through the language arts section of the local used bookstore. Ironically, nothing is in any kind of order in the Language Arts section.

I want you to stop and think about that for a second.

At least once a month for six months I’d cover my fingers with the dust of unwanted books looking for Lamott’s book on writing. Buying new books had become taboo since this store opened and I couldn’t afford them anyway. So I’d take my unwanted volumes down in hopes of getting some credit to buy more books. And for six months I’d start by looking in the chaos of the Language Arts section.

To make it all the more difficult, the hipsters running the place would peer into the screen of the computer dating back to the Carter administration and tell me it was on the shelf in the back hole of the Language Arts Section.

But I could never find it. For six months.

Finally, a little more than a week ago, it was there. I looked around wondering if this was some nerdy version of Punk’d. Surely this wasn’t it. It was. And just in time because someone I respect had recently recommended it very highly. I would have been very frustrated to not find it once again.

But I did find what I was looking for. And after only a few minutes of looking through the section of the store most like that warehouse in the last scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Bethany and I were on a date. The kids were at the grandparents for the night. So knowing it would only be my own bladder to distract and not those of my offspring, I settled into a chair.

Only five pages were needed of sitting in that chair and digging into this book to confirm, this was the book I think I just might need.

And it was. I was not crazy. All the conflicting positions, emotions and convictions when thinking about writing and publishing and being a person in the midst of it all were sitting on the page in front of me. My soul was laid out in font.

Sure, there’s great advice. But more importantly is Lamott’s own ego and despair and self-hatred and doubt and jealousy and hope and faith and joy. And all was mixed together like some ridiculous stew no one would choose to digest.

But you do when you write. No one had told me till now. I thought I was teetering on the edge of crazy with no way to explain to anyone for fear they would quickly need to catch a bus. I was not crazy, or at least not in an inordinate way. With each turn of the page a brilliant sky of possibility opened up to gaze in. Now I might look crazy to some when looking up into that firmament. But, I knew I wasn’t the only one.

And that’s the sanity I’d been searching for, for six months.

1. In 3rd grade I hid my report cards from my parents. My daughter makes A/B honor roll. At least I gave her the inability to pay attention.

2. I’ve been fighting a cold for 3 weeks but I will not yield.

3. I just feel asleep in my chair after that last thought.

4. All this talk in the church about the need to talk bluntly about sex assumes we should be talking about it a lot.

5. I wonder if Adam ever said, “Eve, you’re the only girl for me.”

6. So, are people still like occupying and stuff?

7. For some reason the people I work with at the bank think I know how to count and do math and things of that sort.

8. A libertarian politician is one who thinks no one should tell you what to do except them.

9. I’m afraid I’m losing my kids. They seem to be just as happy with sausage as with bacon.

10. Finally, we are going to get some cold weather down here. Now I can build a fire, get all cozy on the couch and tell everyone on Facebook about it.

I didn’t download a whole lot of new music in 2011. Most of what I bought was recorded and released before that snow storm of which I was a product. But I did download some really, really great albums. The following are my favorites regardless of when they were actually released. Feel free to list any surprising favorites in the comments.

1. Adele – 21. The first time I sat down and listened to this one I knew it would be the album of 2011. No question about it being my favorite album of the year. We’ve listened to this one so much, the whole family knows it by heart. Highlight? Every freaking note.

2. Take It Satch! – Louis Armstrong. I bought it for about 4 bucks at a used bookstore and I’ve listened to it constantly. I cannot get enough of Basin Street Blues. Not listening to Louis Armstrong should get you a fine from the awesome police.

3. Billie Holiday with Lester Young. There is no voice greater than Lady Day’s. Pair it with the epic skills of the Prez and you have so much goodness.

4. The Civil Wars – Barton Hollow. It’s weird I cannot listen to this album over and over. But I go through periods where I need to hear it. Two voices. Two instruments. Gorgeously Zen. Highlight? Poison and Wine.

5. The Decemberists – The King is Dead. This is my one hipster album to keep all you cool kids reading. Singular lyrics full of poetry in the truest sense of the word. Highlight? All Arise.

6. Paul McCartney – Band on the Run. I already knew a good bit of the tunage on this one but I never bought the album. Just great pop music from the greatest melody maker ever.

7. The Wailin’ Jennys – Firecracker. All their albums were downloaded by your favorite blogger. But this is my favorite. Sometimes you need to listen to beautiful music. This is about as beautiful as it gets. Highlight? Glory Bound.

8. Miles Davis – Kind of Blue. I actually have owned this album for years. But I lost it in a hard drive crash. So I did buy it again this year. Is that cheating?

9. Alison Krauss and Union Station – Live. I’ve wanted this one for a long time but just never pulled the trigger. After watching the DVD version, I had to have it. The only thing I don’t like about this album is how long I waited to purchase it.

10. Taylor Swift – Speak Now. (handing over man-card) I’m going to really get made fun of for this one. But I have to tell the truth, I love her music. We don’t even have all the songs of the album but I think she’s crazy talented enough and this album has enough singles to list it. Highlight? Back to December.