Five Years With Knox

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My son, Knox turns 5 today. The day he was born I had a terrible cold and remember sitting in the hospital room – unchanged since the Nixon administration – at the Hospital in Greenwood, MS. I can remember lying on the plastic sea-foam green couch, listening to Ella and Louis. All the hope and fear were present in the room. He was our second so it seemed like old hat. All went according to plan and we had our little boy – Matthew Knox.

A few days later, after we had taken him home, we realized he started turning blue while sleeping. We would wake him up, the color would return. An hour later we were in the emergency room. A day later we were at the Children’s Hospital in Jackson.

We look at him now and are reminded of a time when we had to lean on the bare arm of God in the midst of no answers and no sleep. There was kindness from friends and family and even medical professionals. But there was an unwieldy amount of confusion and distortion of emotions.

We look at him now and are thankful for the mercy of his health since the day we left the hospital. But it took weeks upon weeks before we could relax. Fear was a constant bedfellow. Every now and then those old fears return for no reason than the haunt of old memories.

We look at him now and dismiss the notion there are cul-de-sacs of safety anywhere. The myth that there is any segment of our culture where suffering is not possible or easy is just that, a myth. No dollar would have helped. Money did not exist in the hospital room. Where we lived held no sway. How we lived did not make it possible for him to breathe correctly. Our only comfort was that we could pray to a good and powerful God.

Now, we look at him and laugh at his silliness, his love of airplanes, helicopters and lower-case letters. And are simply thankful for 5 years we were unsure we would have.

Irreligious Thought #1: On Not Being Excited About Going to Church

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Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. – Jesus

That man is perfect in faith who can come to God in the utter dearth of his feelings and desires, without a glow or aspiration, without the weight of low thoughts, failures, neglects, and wandering forgetfulness and say to him, “Thou are my refuge.” – George MacDonald 

Irreligious Thought: On Sunday I heard a pastor confess in an opening prayer for worship, he was not excited to be there. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me and my wife.

Am I the only one who has looked at facebook or Twitter on Sunday morning and saw where so very many people were ‘excited’ about going to church and thought, “Really?” Not because you think they are lying. You just cannot imagine being so. Excited, that is.

A confession: I am not always excited about going to church.

And to make it worse, I’m a pastor. Actually, let’s be honest, I am rarely ‘excited’ to go to church. The question used to swirl around in my mind, “Is something wrong with me?” Am I supposed to be ‘excited’ about church? Are you supposed to feel ‘excited’ about corporate worship? What if you are not…really…’excited?’

Cue up our recent visit to the church where my wife and I met over 13 years ago. It’s where we heard grace clearly for the first time. We had just sat down after singing a song, led by my friend, Jason. And the Missions Pastor stands up to pray and he confesses at the very beginning of his prayer how he was not excited about going to church that morning. I was encouraged.

I have no problem with people saying they are excited about going to church. Actually, I guess I am glad there are those who react to the week-in and week-out rhythms of corporate worship with excitement. I’m just not one of them.

Expectantly. With hope. Some humility. And a desire to hear from God. But excited? The word feels…how do I say this?…plastic. Or as Lewis might describe it, ‘tinny.’ Was this the way the saints of old came together? Was this the expectation for nearly two millennia? Is this the expectation now?

When Jesus tells us – all of us who labor and are heavy laden – we are to come to him for rest, I assume we don’t only come to him like this the first time we come. My assumption is we are always to come to him like this, as those who are likely to labor under a heavy load of guilt and coldness and confidence in our efforts instead of rest in him. We are to come with a faith expecting rest.

This should be encouraging. Encouraging because I cannot be the only one who comes in faith but rarely – if ever – with excitement. My temptation has been to be discouraged at my lack of excitement. But the excitement is not where the encouragement comes from. It comes from the Person who gives rest to those who are not. Excited, that is.

(Full list of ‘Irreligious Thoughts’ here.)

John MacArthur, Darrin Patrick and Goodfellas

matt b redmond4 Comments

– My first thought when I heard John MacArthur had criticized a part of Darrin Patrick’s book was to think about my debt to MacArthur. This happens every time he is criticized. Even when I am inclined to agree with the criticism.

– My second thought was, “I know how the church planting and A29 ‘world’ will react.”

– MacArthur’s concern is that young pastors are taking an individualistic path on theological and ecclesiological formation based on marketing principles. In their very rush to dismiss his criticism, they have made his point.

– It is absolutely foolish to point to the endorsers of a book as a defense against criticism. Again, this is part and parcel of the zeitgeist MacArthur is worried about.

– Having only read the section of the book in question and not the whole book,  I am not yet sure how I should feel about MacArthur’s criticism of Patrick’s statements. What I am sure of is how much the men of my generation and younger need to stop. We need to stop reacting to criticism and we need to sit down and think. If you say you have learned a lot from a man, then you owe him at least a few days to stop and think about his criticism. And for the sake of all that is sane, stop tweeting every pithy thought you might have about it. Stop having such a Goodfellas attitude about this kind of thing. Darrin is your boy. I get it. But you would shrug your shoulders if the criticism was leveled against someone else. The legitimacy of the criticism is not your concern. He’s your ‘boy.’

– My guess is that Darrin is far more likely to stop and think about the criticism and hear it more than his fans are.


Update: I should add, I think part of this whole issue is the instant availability of the information along with the ability to respond so quickly. No contemplation under the night sky needed.  Just hit ‘post.’


Update: Make Sure you read what Ed says in the comment section below.

Update: Darrin patrick replies as I assumed he would and he says this:

For those of you who have been quick to be critical of Dr. MacArthur, please remember that we all need to be corrected from time to time. Also, ALL of us who are younger need to give a careful listen to the concerns of seasoned pastors, many of whom have forgotten more than we might ever know.

Random Irreligious Thoughts Revisited

matt b redmond2 Comments

So I have an idea. The other day I posted “Random Irreligious Thoughts” – a post which was started about 2 weeks or more ago. I then edited them a little, rearranged them and set them free to do their work on my dear readers.

I had no clue.

No clue how they would strike a chord with a some and revolt others. One person wanted permission to use a quote in a sermon and someone else tagged the post as offensive on facebook. To which I say, “Look, if you don’t like U2, we’re one but we’re not the same.”

So here is where my idea comes in. Starting on Monday I will briefly write on each of those Irreligious Thoughts. My hope? To have more posts tagged as offensive while at the same time helping people think deeply about their faith.

Who knows? This could become a regular feature.

Listening to Pavarotti

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It was about a year ago when I downloaded an album of Pavarotti. Over 100 songs and 7 hours in length, it was only $.99. This was new for me because I remember, at the time I was listening to The Clash a lot. And maybe that is the reason why I downloaded it. Maybe it was because – if even for a moment – I was tired of what was popular. And Pavarotti may be more rebellious.

But I listened to it. And much to my wife’s chagrin, I listened to it more than I thought possible.

There are long periods of time where I have not listened to this album at all. Do mp3s collect dust? But today I went to play it and realized it was not there. It was not recovered after the great hard drive crash of Christmas 2010. Perhaps you have read about it elsewhere.

Of course, I went and bought it again. Although this time I had to pay the exorbitant price of $2.99. But it was worth the pain on the wallet. As soon as it started and his voice coursed into my ears, I involuntarily dropped my head in monument to a beauty so rare in my world.

The only time I remember physically responding to a voice before was when I heard the opening salvos of Emmylou Harris’ Wrecking Ball. That time I was sitting at my desk at work over 10 years ago.

If you go look at the reviews of this album, the main critique will be the quality of sound. While I can understand such a criticism, I like the noisiness. It sounds like a record.

It sounds old.

Random Irreligious Thoughts

matt b redmond5 Comments

1. On Sunday I heard a pastor confess in an opening prayer for worship, he was not excited to be there. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me and my wife.

2. George MacDonald said it is the unseen which has the most influence on us.

3. The whole “what/who is missional?” conversation is weird to me. Shouldn’t we pick words that have been around awhile to get worked up about?

4. Wait, does U2 count as Christian Music?

5. The idea that “anybody can preach” is only a college sophomore’s late night debate from “everybody can preach.”

6. Evangelism is not the message.

7. It’s probably true, people walk away from the faith because Christians’ lives don’t match up with what they say they believe. But my guess is people walk away because they think their lives have to match up.

8. You know those cars you see every so often with dozens of cheesy Christian bumper stickers all over the back. That is what Twitter has become in my world. So I’m trying to remove the stickers. Or better – get out of their lane.

9. The proof that grace is scandalous is how often it is kept under lock and key and when it is brought out it is disguised in the robes of ethics.

10. The most practical truth is that you can do nothing.

Rethinking the Criticism of the American Dream

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If you were to do a short cursory study of what people mean when they talk of the American Dream, you would get a few different answers. Some would speak in terms of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Others would look at the term as coined by Historian James Truslow Adams from the book, Epic of America, which he wrote in 1931. In it he wrote,

The American Dream is that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for every man, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement. It is a difficult dream for the European upper classes to interpret adequately, also too many of us ourselves have grown weary and mistrustful of it. It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position.

Changes in the culture have altered the connotation of the term in question and made it a term of derision as well as a term of continuing endearment.  But no matter what you read, you would continually see the American Dream as summed up with three ideals even if the words themselves were not used. These three ideals pursued are freedom, prosperity and success. Other ideals could be added but these are a sufficient enough portrait and are generally what is pictured when the American Dream is celebrated by those who want to pursue it; foreign or domestic. It is also what is so roundly criticized by American evangelical pastors.

*     *     *

There was once a time when, as a youth pastor, I would often tell my students to not fall for the lie of the American Dream.  My desire was for them to want something far more rich than what the world had to offer. So that is what I would say to them. And then I would get in my car and drive home to my house of either 3 or 4 bedrooms, and at least 2 baths. Usually I would then sit on a couch and relax with my wife, watching a movie or just talking. I might even walk over the yard if the air was cool and crisp. Usually I would look up in the sky shining bright over the physical manifestation of a mortgage.

In other words, I was telling my students to not pursue the very thing I had already achieved.

Actually, it was worse. I probably scared them when I talked about the dangers of the American Dream. I made it sound like if they went after the American Dream, they were compromising their faith. You don’t have to say it to communicate it. I painted a picture of filthy lucre which looked suspiciously like the people who gave the most to keep the ministries of the church afloat and would usually be the most generous at Christmas to my family.

It sounds awful because it was. And I wish I could go back and temper my language a good bit. But that’s impossible, so this little essay. This is not a penance so much as a pointing and saying, “The Emperor is wearing no clothes.” Or as you will see, the Emperor has plenty of clothes.

When I say, “The Emperor is wearing no clothes”, it is not a reference to any particular person. I do not dislike those preaching this message so much as I hate the memory of my own voice preaching and teaching it. I am talking about the criticism leveled against the pursuit of the American Dream. It is leveled in books, sermons, conference messages, blog posts and throughout social media. And yet I have seen very little in the way of questioning the message. So here is my small attempt to speak into the present milieu. Here is my attempt to not only defend the pursuit of the American Dream but critique the lesson that says the American Dream is in opposition to the Christian life.

*     *     *

The criticism of the American Dream fails on multiple levels. Not just one. The following is not comprehensive but I hope it is a beginning in bringing some sober reflection on how we motivate people and what our message really is. Here are two reasons why we, evangelicals need to temper our criticism of the American Dream and those who may be pursuing it.

First, it fails because it assumes if you are in pursuit of the American Dream you are compromising – you are choosing one thing over another. Not only does this assume the worst of people who want freedom, prosperity and success but it fails logically. Our faith is not static. And you do not have to baptize the American Dream to say the American Dream is not evil and compatible with Biblical Christianity. The problem would be if someone said ‘no’ to Christ because of their pursuit of the American Dream. This is, of course no peculiar position the American Dream holds. Anything sought over and against the Christ can be detrimental. Even ministry. Our problem is never the American Dream, it is the heart that would pursue anything over Christ; whether it be food, sex or money. But food, sex and money are great things that Christians can pursue and still be faithful, which is why this criticism fails.

We have now become so accustomed to the guilt we harbor regarding our relative wealth that we can only read the story of the Rich Young Ruler as a manifesto against the American Dream. When in actuality it is a statement against seeking justification in anything other than Christ. This is the great mistake of so many thousands of pulpits throughout our land. Mistaking the problem. The problem was not his wealth. It was his attachment to it. Wait. No, the problem was that he sought to justify himself. He did not walk away merely because he was wealthy. He walked away because he rejected Jesus. Even the poor can do such a thing. Cue the thief on the cross who mocked Jesus.

My guess is we, who are married, would not tell single people to quit dreaming the marriage dream. That would be cruel. Nope. But we might say, ‘In your pursuit of the marriage dream do not neglect the dream of a life of faith in Christ alone.” Good? I thought so. What stops us then from saying the same in regards to the American Dream. Maybe it will be hard and require some nuance and explanation but it just might be worth it. Just as we would not want to be hypocritical about the marriage dream and push an unnecessary discouragement, the same is true for freedom, prosperity and success. And this brings us to our second reason the evangelical criticism of the American Dream fails.

Second, it fails because the ones who decry those who would pursue this dream have homes and cars and jobs and cell-phones and furniture and money to eat out. The pastors who rail about your pursuit of the American Dream take their wives out for dinner and go on vacation. They have mp3 players, DVD players, computers and microwaves. They have central heat and air. They pay for their house to be repaired. They have degrees from educational institutions. They have more than one pair of shoes, plenty of clothes and machines to wash them. If any of the above is lost or stolen or worn out they can use their savings account or insurance to replace the above. They are respected in their profession and are invited to conferences based on their abilities and success. And they are free to do so under the laws of this land. Some send their kids to private school. Some have cable. None go hungry.

They are living the American Dream.
Please understand, this is no criticism of those things listed above. Almost all of those who are reading this enjoy a great deal of these which are the accoutrements of the American Dream and do so with thankfulness to God. No pastor or Christian is necessarily wrong in doing so. What is wrong is to enjoy these things – these results of the American Dream – and then rail against some abstract notion of it for others. What is wrong is to stand in front of a group of people having achieved the American Dream and then tell others how wrong they are for pursuing the same. Just as it is wrong to rail against the wealth of Americans from an iPhone, it is wrong to rail against someone’s pursuit of the American Dream from the comfort of being right in the middle of it.

*     *     *
Maybe pursuit is the wrong word. Our language in all of this is may be faulty. Since we are certain we should not idolize the American Dream, maybe we should use that language so their is no confusion. “The Christian should not idolize the American Dream.” That works. And it works on two levels. First it makes the heart the issue and not some outside thing. Second, it frees us from an unnecessary guilt due to what you have. You could call it the pursuit of the ‘Edenic Dream’ that our first parents bequeathed us. It is nothing new.

You must see, the heart has always been the problem.  Not freedom. Not prosperity. Not success. The American Dream is not the problem. And it is strange. Strange, because everyone would admit there are men and women, who reject the American Dream and have black hearts. This should tell us something. Our hearts – you know, where the problem lies – is always looking for something else to be the problem. The American Dream. Alcohol. Education. Sex. Dancing. Tobacco. Choose something…anything, and we will turn it into the problem.

So this is not a call for you to pursue the American Dream. Almost every reader has seen the dream become reality and has known nothing else since birth. No, this is a call to make the heart the issue. To stop distracting from the real issue. This is a defense of what all of you already have but what you call everyone else to reject. To stop heaping unnecessary guilt on the faithful. This is simply a pointing and saying, “The Emperor has plenty of clothes.”

Random Thoughts (for Which We Should Blame the Tea Party or Something)

matt b redmond3 Comments

1. Stores which cater to women should provide spaces for men. And when I say ‘should’ I simply mean, it would be great marketing. “We have a den complete with a TV and couches for your husband to relax while you shop. That way you don’t have to hurry and he is no hurry!” The fact that no store – that I know of – has done this, is proof of the demise of our society.

2. A lot of people talk about how people like me are scared to live downtown and shop downtown, etc. Well, we have our own dangers here.  Every time I go into the second-hand bookstore down by the Galleria, they take my money while smiling at me. Danger is everywhere.

3. I am tired of this abnormal cold down here in Alabama. I thought about blaming God but decided it was more chic’ to blame Sarah Plain. But then I thought, “All the cool kids are doing that. I’ll blame Rush Limbaugh.” But then I thought, “That is soooo 1995. I’ll blame Mark Levin.” And then I went to Glen Beck’s website…site? Like a gun site? And all of a sudden I wanted to harm people. It was weird.”

4. First they blame Plain for the Tucson shooting, then the Gun (bullets are always ignored and get away scot free), then Tea Parties (my daughter was horrified) and now Heavy Metal.  But I have a theory. Has anyone asked if he used AT&T’s wireless internet service. That could put a guy over the edge.

5. Wait. There is a movie coming out about Jason Bieber. How long could this movie be?

6. So Sarah Palin caused the Tuscon shooting and global warming caused the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. I want you all to remember this. This is why I am not a liberal and never could be. Liberals say things they do not believe and then ridicule you for not believing it.

7. If they do bring back the Wooly Mammoth, expect it have a lawyer and sue Fox News for it’s previous extinction.

8. My first generation iPhone is not working all that well. In fact, it is dying on me. It freezes up and does not receive calls and sometimes I get voice mails days later if at all. All of this is good preparation for an iPhone 4.

9. If Cam Newton’s father was at the BCS National Champioship game then we know who to blame, don’t we? Conservative talk radio.

10. I am so tired of hearing about everyone’s troubles, I have not had bacon in days.

Losing It

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Can you be a foodie and still like hot dogs with a fervent passion? Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches? Frozen Pizza?

I grew up in a home where meals were an event. Whether at home or at a restaurant, the meals we ate were important. So it is no wonder I plan whole vacations around meals and I am always wondering how to make the standard ham and cheese sandwich a momentous occasion. Part of this thinking about food is that food is just an amazing thing (Chicken Picatta and the Philly Cheesesteak exist?) and should be tried in all its forms and mediums. Within reason. Olives are for oil alone.
As Fall was moving into Central Alabama, we had our friends, Jason and Becky Edwards and Sean and Missy Dameron and their families, over for dinner one night. That day I smoked a pork shoulder, a chicken and some sausage. It was a feast complete with 4 different kinds of BBQ sauces. And while we talked, Becky was telling us all about this app on her iPhone which helped count calories. By now, I was on plate number three and I remember thinking, “An App may be just what I need to lose some weight…could someone please pass the baked beans. Again.” I started using the Lose It app the next day.
This morning I weighed myself and I have now hit my goal of losing 30 pounds. Actually I’ve lost 31. 188, baby.
So if you see me wearing the same things over and over it’s because my clothes don’t fit.  I used to wear pants that were 38 inches in the waist. Now I am down to a 34 which is smaller than when I got married. Clothes that were once a little too small now are too big. I have far more energy and I cannot explain it but my mind is clearer. And even though I quit running around Thanksgiving, I am still losing weight.
What has been great about this is how I have not had to see the food I love as the enemy. The zeitgeist of the day is to see food as the enemy. Actually, I was the problem. I just ate all the time and never thought about how much I ate. Now by moderating what I eat and telling myself to stop snacking (“Please, step away from the pork skins.”) I’ve been able to still enjoy all the foods I love.
While many decry the phenomenon, I think it makes absolute sense we would have so many shows and movies about eating and cooking food. Food is amazing. It is essential. And it is one of the most incredible of God’s gifts. Not only did he give it to us for practical reasons but he made it taste wondrous. We have taste buds. He not only gave us taste buds so we would smile and laugh so memories will be made over a meal but he also gave them so they can conspire with our mind so we can be taken back to another memorable time. It is all so magical. Hot wings exist.
Just writing this has made me incredibly hungry.