I write this on Monday, March 18th, 2013.
This is not the post I planned for today. And the post I’m gonna write runs the risk of looking like a pity party. But I want you to see something. And I ssume some of you need to see it as much as I did.
I took today off because I needed it. So after sleeping in and drinking the first cup of coffee I put my arms around Bethany and with two hurried sentences asked God to provide for our needs this week.
That was not a flippant prayer.
We enjoy a lot of comforts but paying bills without using our savings is not one of them. Our only real extravagances are the home we rent, Netflix and the cell phone plan. We have taken two family vacations. Ever. Recovering financially after vocational ministry is harder than I thought.
My prayers for provision are usually followed by a broken transmission. Or so it seems.
I tell you this only so you’ll see the goodness of God.
At 2 o’clock today, a stranger rings our door bell. Never seen her before in my life. She says she has a delivery for us from Sam’s and would not tell us who put her on the errand. All this is followed by confusion, smiles and incredulous wonder.
She was enjoying this possibly more than us.
I had forgotten about the prayer till we got it all inside and put the goods away. And then this old cynic’s heart beat bright red with the realization. I would like to tell you that this kinda thing never happens to us and that is why I am so cynical. but it does happen to us periodically. And I can only guess it happens more than I realize.
Yesterday I taught Sunday School and it was on the King and the Kingdom. It’s more of an OT survey class but I decided to go rogue and tell them about the righteous, powerful, and loving King we have. And how I’ve needed that kind of King lately.
All of it was hard to say.
Mainly because I’ve struggled to buy it. Intellectually, I’m there. But my head falls into my hands wondering what the hell is gonna happen to us more often than not.
Sunday’s check to the church was the hardest bit of writing I’ve done lately.
I don’t tell you all this because I want pity. Honestly, I don’t. But I saw something. Something I would not see apart from the need being there and then dealt with like this.
Maybe…just maybe he wants even more for me to see that he – the King – will take care of us. His promises are true. It’s easy to value the tangible over the principal when you wonder what’s coming next. But in this already/not yet space we occupy, the promise can be worth more than the temporary fulfillment. And if I don’t believe that, then I might as well believe this is all there is….you know, like I did before the door bell rang.