Thursday’s Random Thoughts

1. Been watching X-Files while sick. I can only assume they don’t film on sunny days and could not afford proper lighting.

2. I have not had bacon in a few days…which I think explains me not feeling well.

3. If a pastor has to use hyperbole and call something “Satanic” to get people’s attention, I can only assume their attention is not needed.

4. Either I have a fever or it’s June in Alabama.

5. We are a culture in which men struggle to talk to each other in a way that does not include ridicule.

6. The other night I ate Cookie Crisp cereal while my wife played Lego Star Wars. Midlife crisis?

7. Just watched a documentary on Mark Twain. Hard to like a a guy who rails against a world for the things he laughs about within himself.

8. Thought I could not love Springsteen’s Darkness on the Edge of Town any more than I already did. Then I watched the documentary. Twice.

9.  So a bunch of reporters went through my emails and walked away convinced I was awesome.

10. Someone asked me if I would be doing any giveaways on this blog when my book is released. I asked them what they thought I should give away.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

1. Last night I slept like a baby. Except I wasn’t in a crib and didn’t wear a diaper. And didn’t go to bed at eight. Or sleep till seven. Or need changing when I woke up.

2. Went to the beach. Ate shrimp about six different ways. Came back.

3. My son wanted to be like Han Solo. So he unbuttoned his shirt.

4.  Most people are not pastors and missionaries. Most recommended Christian biography is of pastors and missionaries. This is a problem.

5. Went to the beach. Ate bacon about six different ways. Came back.

6. Last Friday night I slept for over 11 hours. This will forever go down in Matt Redmond history as The Night of the Great Sleep.

7. Speaking of diapers, my 2 year old can walk around in just that in this heat. I’m jealous.

8. I’m not sure the bikini is for everyone.

9.  We drink Folgers. Take that hipsters.

10. Well, turned in my manuscript. Now what?

Tuesday’s 10: Observations After Time On the Beach

1. Miller Lite is not going out of business anytime soon.

2. Some folks go to the beach to see the beauty of the ocean. Some go to try and be more beautiful.

3. My wife and I are rebels. We do not have tattoos.

4. I wonder if you could just show up in your underwear. Would anyone notice? Would anyone care?

5. I was totally successful. I got virtually no sun whatsoever.

6. I don’t love the beach. But I love looking up from my book and seeing that vast expanse of water and sky, a horizon only limited by my own eyes and the curvature of the globe.

7. All you need to know is – bacon-wrapped shrimp skewers.

8. I can’t help but feel there is a letting loose of restraint on the edge of the coast. As if propriety and decorum and dignity are shoved to the side like garnish.

9. One thought kept flashing across my mind over and over, “We are all playing at the edge of this body of water the way we play at the edges of beauty.”

10. I never tire of being alone with my wife.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

1. I just threw away a toy and felt very empowered doing so.

2. Give peace a chance? Pasha! Give me a chance at a piece of bacon.

3. I broke down and bought some sandals to wear. I think they are men’s sandals.

4. Three words: Southern. Fried. Broccoli.

5. Not that my crocs weren’t comfortable. What is uncomfortable is the way people look at me when I wear them in public. You know, when they pull their children close and then keep an eye on me.

6. Watched Return of the Jedi the other day. Not sure why, but I like Leia in this one a lot more.

7. I know all my kids need Jesus. But my youngest may need the whole Trinity.

8. I would like to apologize to all my readers for eating something organic.

9. Did my first wedding. It might take.

10. Headed to the beach. And I like everything about the beach except the heat, wind, sand and salt water. Which leaves seafood.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

1. Dale Murphy is following me on twitter. He sent me a message to let me know, you know, cause we are friends. On twitter, but still.

2. Wal-Mart’s bacon is not all that good. This is in comparison to other bacon. Compared to every other food it still rules.

3. A friend asked me if I would remember them when I make it big and my book is picked to be part of Oprah’s book club. I just can’t remember that friend’s name.

4. I dreamed about Van Halen the other night. Diamond Dave offered me hors d’oeuvres. Great dream.

5. I can’t believe Dale Murphy is not in the Hall of Fame. I also cannot believe they are making another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. No justice in this world.

6. So, the Rapture is happening on Saturday. What do you wear for such an event?

7. I’m pretty excited about the check coming from my cousin, Fjrfbebverkb in Holland. Thankfully, all I had to do was give him my SS#.

8. If everyone is a missionary, how come plumbers never speak at missions conferences?

9. My 2 year old wakes up everyone around 6:15 screaming “MAAAAAHHHHMEEEEE!” As if his getting out of the crib is a matter of life and death. My wife takes it personally.

10. I know you don’t think the stuff that happened in the movie Signs could be real. But you need to know we have glasses of water everywhere in our house.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

Update: I guess they have become random thoughts for the weekend since the blog was down a good bit of yesterday and today

1. I saw a commercial for the kid’s show, Martha Speaks. The background music was Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon.

2. I now get emails, fb messages and tweets about bacon on a daily basis.
3. There is no subject known to man that my two oldest cannot relate in some way to Star Wars.
4. Started running again. And you would think it would be easier to start back 30 lbs lighter. But nooooo, that is not the case.
5. We are having Carnitas tonight. In other words, heaven and earth will collide for about an hour.
6. In the irony of all ironies, libraries attract those who have no inclination to be quiet.
7. Someone asked for my fax number and I immediately had a Duran Duran tune in my head.
8. In college I took creative writing. I got a C.
9. Angry Birds may or may not have something to do with my reading books so slowly these days.
10. Sorry, this has taken so long. Today, I had to sign and mail the paperwork to the Publisher…you know, for the book I’m writing. No big deal. Just a dream coming true.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

1. *I* only eat free-range Peeps.

2. I know the conventional wisdom is to not throw stones in glass houses but you may not want to live in one either, what with the lack of privacy and all. And all the stones being thrown around.

3. Two words: Bacon Jerky.

4. For some reason my wife refuses to dress up like Princess Leia…now OR at Halloween.

5. Well, now I am *really* confused on what the Nobel Peace Prize means.

6. I have a hatchet.

7. Is it bad parenting to call your child ‘Darth Knox’? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

8. I don’t have any money nor prospects for any, so my wife must’ve married me for my body.

9. Do you think Jimmy Carter avoids the mall around Easter?

10. Glad I was able to ease the 8 year old mind of my daughter. “No one *really* died in that light saber battle between Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader?”

Thursday’s Random Thoughts

1. Do you know how hard it is to play Angry Birds living in a house with 4 other people?

2. I’m guessing our president and vice president were against pretty much everything they have done before they were for it.

3. Wisteria. Red Buds. Dogwoods. Azalea. Pear. Cherry. Oak. Honeysuckle. Bacon.

4. Wait…if we think a book is heretical because a famous pastor said it was, does that make the pastor a Cardinal?

5. My kids like to play with all the pillows and cushions from the couch. And they like to do so on the floor. I say we leave them there to show our solidarity with the Middle East.

6. I’m no Monk, but I find it hard to drive my car with all this pollen on it.

7. Hey, if that pastor/cardinal is upset, are they an angry bird?

8. Bethany and I have been watching the Star Wars movies and the first two remind me of MST3K.

9.  Do we really think Twitter is a great place to mass rebuke people we have never set our eyes on?

10. So, I’m reading this book about heaven and hell and the fate of everyone who has ever lived and it tells the story of some people getting a second chance after dying and us being surprised at who is there. I started to throw the book away but then I realized I would only have the first six books of every evangelical’s favorite children’s series.

Friday’s Random Thoughts

1. I may or may not tap my foot when my wife is listening to Taylor Swift.

2. I sent in a request to get a refund for the new Radiohead album. I told them I downloaded the wrong album…I downloaded an electronica album by mistake. I will keep you all up to date on that.

3. I have now read in two different places about bacon-wrapped dates. Both times I picture me going to my wife’s old apartment to pick her up and she’s wrapped in bacon. And then I just wish the kids were staying at my parents.

4. These random thoughts are effortless but get a heck of a lot of hits. Maybe I should stop writing and start thinking.

5. Tired of cool. Want beautiful. Like my daughter.

6. There are not many things more enjoyable than watching a 4-6-3 on a spring day.

7. Since Libya still remains on the UN Human Rights Panel perhaps my dreams of working with Michelle Obama on her nutrition task force are still viable.

8. Ask yourself this, “If the new radiohead were released by a new band without a cult following, would I like it”?

9. Advice to young bloggers: More questions. Less answers. More about what you are learning. Less about what others should learn.

10. So this is the new movement? I wondered what would be next.

Update: Due to some unflattering comments (one which I deleted…Dave, my mom reads this blog) I want to be clear that I’m not entirely cynical on this blog. In this edition of Random Thoughts I affirm the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, my wife, bacon, dates with my wife, my wife wrapped in bacon, random thoughts posts, baseball season, spring and my daughter.

But I am also not Pollyanna about the promises made to young men about movements and what they might produce. I am cynical about these things and would ask you to at least think long and hard about them. 

And be nice on my blog…I’ve never begged anyone to read it. Wait, there was that one time…

Random Thoughts: A Light-Hearted Edition

1. This makes it real hard to be a Neil Young fan. That and his music.

2.  Some people think it is an injustice that Bristol Palin is still on DWTS. I think it is an injustice the show even exists.

3. The Beatles are dominating the iTunes charts. Take that cynics.

4. Someone brilliant asked, “Why would you require the pilot of the plane to go through security…since HE COULD TAKE IT DOWN SIMPLY BY STEERING”?!

5. Outside of the military, is there anything the federal government does well?

6. Are TSA screeners going to be in charge of my physicals when Obamacare hits the streets?

7. I feel sorry for people who reference their favorite college team in their email and comment on forums. That is, unless I know you… then this does not apply to you because that would be mean.

8. I’m thinking about starting a fake Twitter account and using it to post Tim Keller quotes without referencing him just to see if anybody would re-tweet them.

9. This remains at the top of my wish list. I know it’s digital – but aren’t we supposed to be saving all the baby seals who die in the process of making physical box sets?

10. Two words: Bacon Jam.